Side effects of alcohol ... And remedies!!!
From: Vasu Maniram @ AMI (Chennai)

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the
Drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward

2. Symptom : The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite drink!

4. Symptom : The floor is moving.
Cause: You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you!

5. Symptom : You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!

6. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause: You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.

7. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and The music is very repetitive.
Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.

Your Personality

From: AlAmeen @ Sasken Communication Technologies Ltd (Bangalore)

There is a very, very tall coconut tree, and there are 4 animals: King Kong, Ape, Orangutan and a Monkey pass by. They have a competition to see who is the fastest to get the banana.

Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality. Try and answer within 30 seconds
Got your answer? Scroll down to see the analysis.

If your answer is ....
Orangutan = dull/stupid
Ape = foolish
Monkey = idiot
King Kong = stupid

Why?????

Coconut tree never has bananas..... ...!!

Today's Equation!

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
If, Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work


Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money
If Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys


Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore, Women = Donkeys + spend
If, Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys

To Conclude:
* Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys!
* Women spend not to let men become Donkeys!
* Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys!
** And the Donkeys lived happily ever after!

This is why you should visit your hometown atleast once a year

A motor bike parked in 1985 in Kerala-INDIA (Owner is still in Saudi Arabia) :-) KIdding

Why Car Ads With Male Models Are NOT ok !!!
From: Al ameen @ Sasken Communication Technologies Ltd (Bangalore)

Don't do this to your drunken friend

Sales Call...........

The top marketing director of Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.

After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, 'Your Eminence, I have some business to discuss. We at Nescafe have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church . if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'."

The Pope looks outraged and thunders, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the word of the Lord, It must not be changed." Well," says the Nescafe man somewhat chastened, "We anticipated your reluctance. For this reason, and the importance of the Lord's prayer to all catholics, we will increase our offer to $300 million. All we require is that you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'."

Again, even more sternly, the Pope replies, "That, my son, is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not be changed."

Finally, the Nescafe director says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to your faith, we realise that tradition is essential to your beliefs, we fully understand the importance of the word of the Lord........ ........but we do have one final offer. Please discuss it with your cardinals. We will donate $500 million to the great Catholic church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'. Please, please consider it." And he leaves.

The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals. "There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news .......
The good news is, he continues to a hushed assembly, ' that the Church will get $ 500 million."

"And what is the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.

"Sadly" says the Pope ,
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
We would have to lose the Britannia Account..... ......... ......... .....

I apologize for taking your car

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned.

There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, "I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and- western music star."

Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from thoughout the house, from basement to attic. And, there is a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don't I?"

Today's T-Shirt

I lost my job today !

Party !

From: Vasu Maniram @ AMI (Chennai)

It was at a party and the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments. She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn't know how to tell which ones were the crashers. Then her husband got an idea....

He turned to the crowd of guests and said "Will those who are from the brides side of the family stand up please?" about twenty people stood.

Then he asked " Will those who are from the groom side of the family stand up as well?" about twenty five people stood up. Then He smiled and said
-
-
-
"Will all those who stood please leave, This is a birthday party".

How to look Happy at work

* Workload getting to you?
* Feeling stressed?
* Too many Priority 1 assignments?

Here is the new low cost way to cope with multiple Priority 1 assignments!

Take 2 paperclips and rubber bands. Fig. 1

Assemble them as shown on the picture. Fig. 2

Apply as shown in Fig. 3

Enjoy your day.
This new office equipment will help you to reach the end of the day with a smile on your face!

Don't drink and come to Office....

Reverseesrever

FOR ALL who don't know the WATERFALL MODEL-Software Engineering

From: Vasu Maniram @ AMI (Chennai)

HI ITS FRIDAY...

Cheer Up !!! Weekend is Here!!!!

From: Suresh.G @ Motorola (Bangalore)

Please help me get the bug out of my code..

From: Rajarajan @ Tech Mahindra(Singapore)

/* add.c

* a simple C program
*/
#include stdio.h
void main()
{
int i, sum = 0;
for ( i = 1; i >10; i++ )

{
sum += i;} /*-for-*/
printf("sum = %d\n", sum);
return 0;

Appraisal
From: Prasanna @ Bangalore

Before Appraisal


At the time of receiving....


After Receiving...