If Only Life Were This Easy
I would look like a Happy Duck Too

* If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
* To get your daily exercise, just click on "run";
If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.
* Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
* To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.
* To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
* To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
* If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
* When you lose your car keys, click on find.
* "Help" with the chores is just a click away.
* Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary.
You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.
* And, we could click on "SEND NOW"
and a Pizza would be on it's way!

Today's MESSAGE

From: bayibhyap bayibhyap

You Can't Please Everyone
An old man, a boy, and a donkey were on their way to town. The boy was riding the donkey.
As they went along, they passed a goup of people who remarked it was a shame the old man had to walk while the young boy was riding. The man and boy thought about the criticism and decided maybe the people were right, so they switched places.
Later they passed another group of people who remarked that it was a shame that the old man made the little boy walk. The two travelers decided that they would BOTH walk.
Soon they passed a third group of people who said they were stupid to walk , when they had such a fine donkey to ride. So, the two decided they would both ride the donkey.
The next group of people they passed said that it was AWFUL that the two put such a heavy load on the poor donkey. The old man and boy thought that maybe the people were right, so they decided to carry the donkey.
Soon they came to a river, with a narrow bridge spanning it. As they attempted to cross the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and it fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story ?
1. If you try to please everyone, you may as well............kiss your ass goodbye.
2.Try as you would, you just can't please everyone.

Today's GAME
From: Kiranmayi @ adecco (Bangalore)

Keep the ball up in the air
>>> Download <<< ( Excel - 0.11MB)

Today's CREATIVITY
From: Kiran @ Innominds (Hyderabad)

She make Babies

Today's CREATIVITY
From: Vasu Maniram @ AMI (Chennai)
Willard Wigen

Your fingernails reveal a lot about you
From: Anitha @ Fidelity (Bangalore)

• "Clubbing" occurs when the tips of your fingers enlarge and your nails curve around the ends of your fingers. This can be a sign of low oxygen levels, so doctors will check for lung disease.
• Spoon nails, or nails that curve upwards and have enough of an indentation to hold a drop of water, are a sign of iron deficiency.
• If your nails look opaque but show a dark band around the tip, doctors will check for diabetes or liver disease.
• Beau’s lines are horizontal indentations that run across your nail. They indicate a temporary cessation of nail growth, which is usually caused either by a traumatic injury, poor nutrition, or as a reaction to medication.
• White spots on the nails can indicate a zinc deficiency.

Today's ART

BOYZ APOLOGY

I Dont know

wht??????noo

ohh god

i'm sorry

hmmm

noooooooo

u lied to me

i'm lier???

i'm a good man

The Ultimate Marketing Strategy

In a recent marketing campaign in Vancouver, 3M sought a strong image for their security glass. They modified a bus shelter and fitted their security glass and filled it with REAL BANKNOTES. Many have tried to gain access with golf clubs and baseball bats but obviously the glass remains intact! This is what you call having faith in your own product...

Today's AUTO
Car or Bike .....CIKE !

Today's JOKI

Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.

Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.

Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!

Hey Dave....

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."

Today's AUTO
From: Rajarajan @ Techmahindra (Singapore)

Today's ART

Today's STORY

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.
So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."
"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.
"I don't care," said Farmer John. "Just do something about these crazy drivers!"
So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING.
Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster."
So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY. But that sped them up even more!
So Farmer John kept calling, and the sheriff kept changing the signs.
Finally, Farmer John said to the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?"
The sheriff was ready to let Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling every day. He said, "Sure thing, put up your own sign."
And after that, the sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John.
Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers? Did you put up your sign?"
"Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." He hung up the phone.
The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign... it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers..."
So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood:

NUDIST COLONY

*** Go slow and watch out for the chicks ***

Today's ADVERTISEMENT

Today's CARTOON

rearragne

DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANI MOSITY
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS NO MORE Z'S

A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Today's CREATIVITY

Today's PIC STORY