Funky Greeting Cards Texts

I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...
I've changed my mind .

I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
That you're not here to ruin it for me .

Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

I'm so miserable without you...
It's almost like you're still here.

When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
I'd miss you terribly and think of you often .

Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
So we're having you put to sleep.

Thank you for being part of my life....
I never knew what evil was until I met you!

Congratulations on your wedding day!...
Too bad no one likes your husband.

How can I say this....
Your cooking kills me

Hooray.....
You're divorced.

Congrats on getting married...
It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.

Someday I hope to marry...
Someone other than you.

We have been friends for a very long time...
What do you say we stop?
From : Tuticorin (Tamilnadu)

Today's CARTOON
From : Tuticorin (Tamilnadu )

Difference between boys and girls while using ATM
(Bank's cash dispenser machines)

Boys

1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser.
2. Insert card
3. Dial code and desired amount
4. Take the cash, the card and the slip

Girls

1. Drive to the bank

2. Engine stalled
3. Check make-up in the mirror
4. Apply perfume
5. Manually check haircut
6. Park the car - failure
7. Park the car - failure
8. Park the car - Success
9. Search for the card in the handbag
10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
11. Throw phone card back in handbag,
12. Look for bank card.
13. Insert Card
14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag
15. Enter code
16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
17. #Cancel#
18. Re-enter code
19. #Cancel#
20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code
21. Enter desired amount
22. #Error#
23. Enter bigger amount
24. #Error#
25. Enter maximum amount
26. Cross fingers
27. Take cash
28. Go back to the car
29. Check make up in rear mirror
30. Look for keys in handbag
31. Start car
32. Drive 50 meters
33. STOP
34. Drive back to bank machine
35. Go out of the car
36. Take card and ticket back from machine
37. Go back to the car
38. Throw card on passenger seat
39. Throw slip on the floor
40. Check make up in rear mirror
41. Manually check haircut
42. Go into roundabout - wrong way
43. BRAKE
44. Go into roundabout - right way
45. Drive 5 kilometers
46. Remove hand brake
47. Call boyfriend/husband to tell how miserable she was because of HIM.

Sorry girls, if u mind

From : Tuticorin ( Tamilnadu )

How to become Michael Jackson
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( 9 pics - 219 KB )
From : Tuticorin ( Tamilnadu )

Today's DOWNLOAD

Smart Pet
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( Video - 610 KB )
From : Saravanan. S @ Iflex Solutions ( Chennai )

Today's EMAIL

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.
This is Forever Friendship.
This is the sacred RED ROSE.
pass this rose on
Just be nice & pass it on....May we all be loved so much.
From : bwithsurya @ yahoo.co.in

Resignation

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand, what is my way?
I dont know if I should stay.
To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I dont know if I should stay.
The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I dont know if I should stay.
The money is good ,the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I dont know if I should stay. !
The managers dont know what they talk
The team doesnt know where they walk
That's a bad situation, what say?
I dont know if I should stay.
I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I cant keep switching day by day
I dont know if I should stay.
The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
Its all done, I won't stay.
From : Diwakar. R @ Tavant ( Bangalore )

Today's CARTOON

Today's ART

Today's DOWNLOAD

What will you do for.............
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< (Video - 554 KB)
From: Tuticorin (Tamilnadu)

Today's PHOTO
Toilet Restaurant in Taiwan
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( 5 pics - 514 KB )
From : Tuticorin (Tamilnadu)

>>> DOWNLOAD <<<

Save the attachment ‘1.txt’ in any directory.
Open Command Prompt. CD to the above dir.
Type debug<1.txt>
Amazing to say the least..!
Find the exit .... (it should say program terminated normally)

From : Dheeraj Thota @ Cognizant Technology Solutions (Chennai)

Have you experienced any of these ?

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.
Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
O'brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bell's Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Ruby's Principle Of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Willoughby's Law:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Zadra's Law Of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Breda's Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Owen's Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

From : Kiran. V. R

Today's PHOTO
Car of FORD CEO
From : vasuwithyou @ Yahoo.co.in

Today's DOWNLOAD

Japanese Show
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< (Video - 1.21 MB )
From : Pranav @ Bangalore

Today's WORD

From : vasuwithyou @ Yahoo.co.in

Today's REPLY
Reply from Rowsey House for the post Ugly head of racialism????

There is valid reason why white Americans are racist against black Americans. It is not as simple as the looting scenario.(blacks loot, whites 'find') The video attached is typical of how southern blacks act.

>>> DOWNLOAD <<< (Video - 4.36 MB )
From : Rowsey House

Today's DOWNLOAD

SPIDERMAN ??????
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( Video - 592 KB )
From : Babu. A. R @ Tuticorin

Today's E-MAIL

Top 20 replies by Programmers to Testers when their programs don't work:
20. "That's weird..."
19. "It's never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in your data."
13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
12. "You must have the wrong version."
11. "It's just some unlucky coincidence."
10. "I can't test everything!"
9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT."
8. "It works, but it hasn't been tested."
7. "Somebody must have changed my code."
6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"
5. "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
4. "You can't use that version on your system."
3. "Why do you want to do it that way?"
2. "Where were you when the program blew up?"
And the Number One Reply by Programmers when their programs don't work:
Guess.............
Guess..............
Come on, even u say it .........
Guess.............
1. "It works on my machine"
From : Diwakar. R @ Tavant ( Bangalore )

Today's ART
the making of 3D
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( 11 pics - 710 KB )
From : Bhaskar Sen Sharma @ Convergys ( Hyderabad )

Does Management know their Staff ??

On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against a wall, doing nothing. He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn 2000 Dhs a month, Sir. Why?"
Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed 6000 Dhs cash and gave it to theyoung man and said, "Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months' salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".
The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight. Noticing a Few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that applies for everybody in this company".He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who 's the young man that I just fired ?"
To which an amazing reply came of,
" He was the pizza delivery man, Sir!!! "

From : Dheeraj Thota @ Cognizant Technology Solutions (Chennai)

Today's SITE

Population
Government & Economics
Education
Environment
Food
Energy
Health
American military casualties in Iraq
Most Deadly Earthquakes in History
>>> VISIT <<<
The data is somewhat correct for 2003-2004 years and most of the times for 2005 too.

Today's PHOTO
College Exams !!!
From : Hari Rama Chandran. S @ Tuticorin

Today's ART
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( 7 pics - 314 KB )

Today's DOWNLOAD

Different Positions of SEX
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( swf - 4.33 KB )
From : Kumar Chetan (kumarldh@gmail.com)

Today's CARTOON
From : Bhaskar Sen Sharma @ Convergys (Hyderabad)

Today's DOWNLOAD
BULL Fight
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( 4 Videos - 515 KB )

Nokia -CODES & DESCRIPTIONS

*3370# Activate Enhanced Full Rate Codec (EFR) - Your phone uses the best sound quality but talk time is reduced my approx. 5%
#3370# Deactivate Enhanced Full Rate Codec (EFR)
*#4720# Activate Half Rate Codec - Your phone uses a lower quality sound but you should gain approx 30% more Talk Time
*#4720# Deactivate Half Rate Codec
*#0000# Displays your phones software version, 1st Line : Software Version, 2nd Line : Software Release Date, 3rd Line : Compression Type
*#9999# Phones software version if *#0000# does not work
*#06# For checking the International Mobile Equipment Identity (IMEI Number)
#pw+1234567890+1# Provider Lock Status. (use the "*" button to obtain the "p,w" and "+" symbols)
#pw+1234567890+2# Network Lock Status. (use the "*" button to obtain the "p,w" and "+" symbols)
#pw+1234567890+3# Country Lock Status. (use the "*" button to obtain the "p,w" and "+" symbols)
#pw+1234567890+4# SIM Card Lock Status. (use the "*" button to obtain the "p,w" and "+" symbols)
*#147# (vodafone) this lets you know who called you last
*#1471# Last call (Only vodofone)
*#21# Allows you to check the number that "All Calls" are diverted to
*#2640# Displays security code in use
*#30# Lets you see the private number
*#43# Allows you to check the "Call Waiting" status of your phone.
*#61# Allows you to check the number that "On No Reply" calls are diverted to
*#62# Allows you to check the number that "Divert If Unreachable (no service)" calls are diverted to
*#67# Allows you to check the number that "On Busy Calls" are diverted to
*#67705646# Removes operator logo on 3310 & 3330
*#73# Reset phone timers and game scores
*#746025625# Displays the SIM Clock status, if your phone supports this power saving feature "SIM Clock Stop Allowed", it means you will get the best standby time possible
*#7760# Manufactures code
*#7780# Restore factory settings
*#8110# Software version for the nokia 8110
*#92702689# Displays - 1.Serial Number, 2.Date Made, 3.Purchase Date, 4.Date of last repair (0000 for no repairs), 5.Transfer User Data. To exit this mode you need to switch your phone off then on again
*#94870345123456789# Deactivate the PWM-Mem
**21*number# Turn on "All Calls" diverting to the phone number entered
**61*number# Turn on "No Reply" diverting to the phone number entered
**67*number# Turn on "On Busy" diverting to the phone number entered
12345 This is the default security code
press and hold # Lets you switch between lines
*#3283# or *#DATE# Date of Manufacture
*#682371158412125# Software Version

Today's e-MAIL

I am thankful for.........
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( ppt - 691 KB )
From : Dheeraj Thota @ Cognizant Technology Solutions (Chennai)

Today's DOWNLOAD
Wire Creations
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( 9 pics - 303 KB )

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS ARE PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE.

Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

From : vasuwithyou @ Yahoo.co.in

Ugly head of racialism????
Black people loot. White people find. What's wrong with USA ?
From : Dheeraj Thota @ Cognizant Technology Solutions (Chennai)

Today's ART
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( 20 pics - 1.51 MB )

Today's DOWNLOAD

Squirrel
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( Video- 988 KB )
From : Saravanan. S @ Iflex Solutions ( Chennai)

Today's CARTOON
From : Dheeraj Thota @ Cognizant Technology Solutions (Chennai)

Today's PICTURE

CRYSTAL
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( 21 pics - 353 KB )
From : Saravanan.S @ Iflex Solutions (Chennai )

Today's ART
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( 12 pics - 1.3 MB )
From : Bhaskar Sen Sharma @ Convergys ( Hyderabad )

Today's DOWNLOAD

Shake it BABY !!!!
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( Video -707 KB )
From : Saravanan. S @ Iflex Solutions ( Chennai )

Today's DOWNLOAD
My Love
>>> DOWNLOAD <<< ( PPT - 690 KB )
From : Murali. K @ Satyam ( Bangalore )

DANGER OF COKE & PEPSI (SOFT DRINKS)

AND WE DRINK THIS STUFF! Coke & Pepsi ALARMING FACTS!!!

The average pH of soft drinks, e.g. Coke, Pepsi is pH 3.4. This acidity is strong enough to dissolve teeth and bones! Our human body stops building bones at around the age of 30. After that it'll be dissolving about 8-18% of the bones each year through the urine, depending on the acidity of the food intake (acidity does not depend on the taste of the food, but on the ratio of potassium / calcium / magnesium / etc. to phosphorus).
All the dissolved calcium compounds accumulate in the arteries, veins, skin tissue, and organs. This affects the functioning of the kidney (kidney stones). Soft drinks do not have any nutritional value (in terms of vitamins and minerals). They have higher sugar content, higher acidity, and more additives such as preservatives and colourings.
Some people like to take cold soft drinks after each meal, guess what's the impact? Our body has an optimum temperature of 37 degrees for the functioning of digestive enzymes. The temperature of cold soft drinks is much less than 37, sometimes quite close to 0. This will lower the effectiveness of the enzymes and put stress on the digestive system, digesting less food. In fact the food gets fermented. The fermented food produce bad smelling gases, decays and forms toxins, which are absorbed in the intestines, get circulated in the blood and is delivered to the whole body. This spread of toxins can lead to the development of various diseases. Think before you drink Coke or Pepsi or any another soft drink.
Have you ever thought what you drink when you drink an aerated drink? You gulp down carbon dioxide, something that no sane person in the world would advise you to do. Few months ago, there was a competition in Delhi University "Who can drink the most Coke?". The winner drank 8 bottles and died on the spot because too much carbon dioxide in the blood and not enough oxygen.
Someone put a broken tooth in a bottle of Pepsi and in 10 days it is dissolved! Teeth and bones are the only human organs that stay intact for years after death. Imagine what the drink must be doing to your delicate soft intestines and stomach lining! To all COKE / PEPSI LOVERS, think again the next time before you say " CHUP ".
From : Bhaskar Sen Sharma @ Convergys (Hyderabad)

How do you find your house ?
( flats in china )
From : Bhaskar Sen Sharma @ Convergys ( Hyderabad )

Today's SITE
>>> VISIT <<<
( FREE DOWNLOAD )